Well, I’ve made it to 25. It’s been one week now. My frontal lobe is now, supposedly, fully developed. So no more changing, right?! Just kidding. At any rate, I’ve made some major internal changes over the course of the year.

This past year took me on a deep dive inward, breaking self-established barriers and rewiring old thought patterns. Not easy. Honestly, not a lot of fun most of the time. Still isn’t, because that development journey is ongoing. But oooooh boy. It’s so worth it.

I’ve had to let go of little 5-year-old Shannon’s hand, because her learned inclinations and trepidation of the great, mean world were pulling me down. Those proclivities include:

Gullibility

Little Shannon, wide-eyed and trusting, believed what people told her at face-value. My B.S. detector is way more keen now. I watch the actions that prelude or follow a person’s words. It filters out the cheap-talk-weasel-word-players of whom I no longer feel obligated to entertain.

Lack of Self-Love

Major eye roll, huh? But really. It’s so hard for some of us, especially those of us who are SO hard on ourselves (). And encapsulating self-love, for me, goes much deeper than any physical dissatisfaction. I’m learning to love my brain; the way it operates, channels information, and responds. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s my cup and I’m learning to drink it allllll up. To own and love it. Over-thinking, OCD, thought spirals and all.

Trying to Understand Everything About Everyone

Why doesn’t this work? Because many people don’t know what they want. And a lot of people don’t do the necessary self check-ins to see why they operate the way they do. If they don’t know, how could I? I know there’s a reason why each person responds/reacts they ways that they do, and I’m learning to accept that I often won’t know the reasons why. This is why we can’t take anything personally (much easier said than done).

Ashamed of My Passionate Persona

 I’ve been labeled intense. Uninterestingly, I’ve noticed it’s a common term for women who are passionate and know what they want. So now I shrug my shoulders and agree: “Yeah I’m intense. So what?” I’ll take that over being a bobble-headed vegetable shell of a human any day!

Putting Fear First

Fear of what the future will bring. Of what “they” think or whether or not I’m saying the right words or making the “right” decisions. And so on. But fear destroys the best intentions, dreams, and goals. Everyday is an opportunity for us to overcome it and take the reins from fear’s clutch. Personally, the most effective tool to eradicate fear is my faith in the Creator. If God is for me, who/what can be against me? Ref.

Hiding My Sensitivity

I’m sensitive, I feel deeply (the good and the bad), I ruminate. There it is. Stoicism and maintaining a distant demeanor isn’t cool to me anymore. Show me vulnerability and you show me strength.

And It Doesn’t Stop Here

These old thought patterns need to constantly be kept in check; it’s just as easy to backslide. I didn’t realize how true this was until I associated what I know about physical progress with mental.

I’ve done a lot of physical body work this year too. Regular chiropractic care, acupuncture visits, and invested into self-learning as a newly-minted CPT. What I’ve come to understand is that the body will go back to its learned positions—which can be totally out of whack—so we have to be diligent to continually maintain optimal form.

“A wound won’t heal if you keep picking at the scab.”

The same is true with the brain, which is a muscle too. You have to keep adjusting to create healthy brain grooves, ignoring the old pathways. This is why it’s crucial to slow down and care for the parts unseen: the internal stuff.

So cheers to 25. Cheers to brain-groove readjustments. Let’s do this.

Think about it: what’s one old thought pattern you might consider rewiring?

peace and love,

smb