I think of my younger self often. Particularly when I was 4 and 5 years old. I think of how daily I aim to be the person she needed all those years ago. Someone who is resilient, self-aware, and not paralyzed by fear.

But recently I’ve had another thought: there’s much of younger Shannon that I need now.

I think of that little Shannon, the one who was unaware of others’ judgements, or never knew what heartbreak felt like, or hadn’t experienced mistrust and the ways it instills fear and stalls action.

That little Shannon, who innocuously navigated the world wide-eyed and hopeful. Her limitless imagination, her ability to daily seek adventures in the mundane, and her proclivity to act a fool with absolutely no hesitation — as long as it meant someone else cracked a smile or broke out in laughter.

She always rooted for other people. She rooted for herself. “Comparison” and “judgment” weren’t in her humble and still-limited vocabulary. She loved herself because she didn’t know there was any other way to be.

She wasn’t yet inundated with messages of unworthiness or criticized by people who were perhaps threatened by her potential. She didn’t yet have negative material to internalize and ruminate upon and ultimately make her feel small…and unimportant.

I want to bring back those attributes of little Shannon.

Think about how you experienced the world before you knew pain (and if you don’t remember such a time, I commend you for your resilience, and I’m rooting for you).

Think about the attributes of your younger self. What parts of your early years do you need to bring out, dust off, and become once again?

peace and love,

smb